Reflections on TCMF Restore & Resilience Retreat 2024

All photos in this post were taken at the retreat

Last year I had the opportunity to attend the Tommy Corral Memorial Foundation Restore and Resilience Mental Wellness Retreat at Stronghold Castle in Oregon, IL. It was one of those synchronous experiences that I happened to stumble into. The timing of the event was perfect as I was going through a difficult time in my own life and this retreat was a much needed solace for my soul. When I signed up a couple months previously, I had no idea how much it would mean for me to attend. All I will say is, trust your intuition. I don’t know what prompted me to register when I did, but it turned out to be a very good decision.

To be honest, I was quite anxious about the event because I’ve never attended anything like this and did not know what to expect. I didn’t know anyone there and was worried about feeling out of place. But when I showed up, one of the staff members greeted me at my vehicle and helped me get situated. Actually, to be completely honest, I was sitting in my car crying and trying to collect myself so I could walk inside and pretend I wasn’t in the midst of an existential crisis. That plan lasted for 30 seconds until a kind woman approached my car and asked if she could give me a hug. It might have been the uncontrollable sobbing that gave her the impression I needed some support. She introduced herself, took me to the lodge house, and then showed me to my room. She explained where to meet for dinner and what was planned for the evening. I felt reassured as she took everything in stride, as if it was completely okay for me to be in such distress. She was a compassionate listener and very skillfully validated my emotions in a way I didn’t know was possible from someone who was essentially a stranger to me. I also appreciated her giving me a tour and going through all the details of the day as it helped calm and ground me.

I am not the type of person to break down crying in front of anyone—I prefer to keep my emotions to myself—so it felt disconcerting, but also comforting, to be open about my struggles. This became a theme for the weekend as I practiced being vulnerable and found out just how many people truly care and want to be supportive.

The retreat was set up with a variety of sessions and activities throughout the weekend. Sometimes everyone was together, other times split into small groups, and then sometimes there were concurrent activities that you could choose from. It also felt like there wasn’t any pressure to be constantly busy. The schedule allowed for downtime and it was encouraged to take some self-care time if needed. I enjoyed having sessions for various practices because it was a good sampling of things that I might not have tried otherwise.

For example, the yin yoga session was one of the most relaxing experiences I’ve ever had. The sound bath was indescribable. I think it must be because you can feel the vibrations in the air. I had the sensation of just floating through space. If it had kept going any longer I would have fallen asleep. I’ve always wondered about sound baths and was glad for this opportunity to try it.

The other session that was really powerful for me was a practice of connection and vulnerability. It started out with a 3 minute session of eye gazing with a partner. And then went into different topics of sharing with each other. This was extremely intense. I was surprised at how difficult it was for me to stay present and in the moment. I kept wanting to disconnect and pull away because it was so uncomfortable. It also made me realize I have a hard time listening and just receiving from others. I want to jump in and offer my advice or ask questions or try to resolve it. So learning how to simply be present for someone else is on my list of things to improve.

Another new one for me was the forest bathing walk. As an avid nature lover, a walk through the woods feels very normal. However, forest bathing is a slightly different approach than how I usually enjoy nature. I liked the emphasis on slowing down to notice all the sensory inputs. A much quieter, meditative experience. Again, I probably wouldn’t have gone to a forest bathing event specifically, so it was nice to have this opportunity. For those who are spiritually inclined, it is said that this particular location has a very powerful spiritual resonance. Standing on the top of a ridge, watching the sunset across the rolling landscape, was certainly a moving experience that reminded me of how much more there is to this universe than we can ever comprehend.

One day there was an archery class and while I unfortunately didn’t make it, I hope they have it at the next retreat because that’s been on my list to try for a long time. It was nice to have such a wide range of activities, from arts to archery, so there was something to suit everyone’s interests. I also really enjoyed taking a long solo walk and exploring all the nature trails at the site. The setting for the retreat was perfect as the natural surroundings added to the peace and tranquility. Even just walking from the dorm hall to the main building each morning provided an idyllic scene across the open fields, a small moment of beauty and quiet.

I would also say the bonfire night was also very meaningful for me as well. Not only did it bring back a lot of good memories from my childhood, there was a deep and almost primal feeling as we gathered in the darkness, watching the flickering flames. It was also an opportunity to do some emotional cleansing as we were invited to write a letter about anything we wanted to let go of in our lives and then drop it in the fire. Some of the participants chose to read their letters, or at least excerpts, out loud, and it was very powerful to have this glimpse into each person’s journey and participate in their healing process too.

One night at dinner I made a decision which, in retrospect, was pivotal for my experience at the retreat. I was at a table with a few ladies that I had already met but hadn’t talked with in much depth. I was having this whole internal conversation about whether or not to share some of the things I was struggling with in my life. Eventually I gathered the courage to speak up and say that I needed some help talking through some emotional difficulties. Immediately there was such a sense of support and compassion. As I shared my story, some of the ladies opened up about their own life experiences and challenges they’ve been through. Each person had a different perspective that helped me see things in a new way. The whole conversation was threaded with empathy and understanding. I was expecting a lot of judgement and criticism since that’s how I was looking at myself, but it was so validating to realize that everyone makes mistakes and we all go through difficult times in life. We can learn to forgive ourselves for not always being the person we strive to be. But this was pivotal because I chose to be vulnerable in an unknown situation, and in return I was met with compassion and love. In fact, one of the ladies from this dinner has become a dear friend since then and I’ve been so thankful to have her in my life this past year. I don’t think we would have connected if I hadn’t taken a risk to be so honest about myself.

Overall, it was incredibly healing to be in a place where it is normalized to take care of yourself. Where it is expected and encouraged that you do what is best for you. In one of the small group “processing” sessions, I was having a hard time staying present. This was right after the eye gazing session and I was honestly emotionally exhausted. I felt overwhelmed by what everyone else was sharing and by my own emotions coming up. The old me would have just buried everything and sat there, calm and composed, just to be polite. But the new me quietly got up and left the room so I could work through things by myself. It felt rude to leave, even though I knew no one would be upset, but I also knew this was what I needed for myself. Prioritizing my own wellbeing was a new practice for me and the context of the retreat gave me the encouragement I needed to make those choices.

The sense of community and connection was the most powerful experience of the weekend. I’ve never been in a place with so many like-minded women who are trying to heal and grow. I’m the type of person to read books, listen to podcasts, and explore these topics of self-help and personal growth. But all of those things are missing the human connection. This is what impacted me the most over the weekend. Truth hits differently when you’re sitting alone reading a book or when you’re surrounded by a group of welcoming and supportive women who are all on the same journey.

Details for 2025 Restore & Resilience Retreat

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